Is Sexual Coercion Abuse?

Sexual activity should never, ever feel forced. When thinking of forced sexual activity, many people immediately think of physical force. However, in several instances, the type of coercion used is not physical, but psychological. It’s important to acknowledge that non-physical coercion is just as harmful as physical violence, and it can leave a lasting impact on the survivor.

What Is Sexual Coercion?

Sexual coercion is the use of certain tactics to get another person to engage in unwanted sexual activities. Examples of sexual coercion can include but are not limited to:

• Nagging, begging, or repeatedly asking someone to engage in a sexual activity
• Attempting to make a person feel guilty or somehow shame them into having sex
• Threats of infidelity or abandonment if a person does not have sex
• Emotional blackmail of any kind for sexual gratification
• Overt or covert threats to harm their social status, job, home, or family unless they engage in sexual conduct

The act of sexual coercion is not always negatively conducted in the form of threats or blackmail. Some perpetrators may sexually coerce their targets through the use of compliments, sweet talk, or promises like money or marriage. In other words, sexual coercion happens anytime a person engages in a sexual activity when they don’t want to because they feel threatened, pressured, or forced in any manner.

How is Sexual Coercion Different From Consensual Sex?

To understand how sexual coercion differs from non-coercive sexual activity, ask whether the sexual activity involved the following:

• Mutual respect between the parties
• Equality
• Autonomy about the experience, i.e. having a say in what a person will and will not engage in
• No expectations of sex
• Emotional security, comfort, and trust

Sexual coercion is often a precursor to sexual assault. These are two different yet related terms.

Sexual Coercion vs. Sexual Assault

Sexual coercion is a tool that an abuser may use to engage in sexual activity without proper consent. Consent occurs when all people involved willingly agree and want to have sexual contact with each other. However, when it comes to sexual assault, there is always someone who has not given consent or is incapable of giving consent. This includes scenarios that involve a minor who cannot legally give consent, and instances when an adult is not capable of giving consent due to mental illness, disability, or being compromised with drugs or alcohol.

While sexual coercion may be used to sexually assault a person, these scenarios usually involve strangers and/or acquaintances and are often one-time acts. Sexual coercion, on the other hand, may go on for years within the confines of a relationship, and is most frequently used with people that know one another.

Sexual Coercion Examples

Even though it may seem easy to recognize sexual coercion, it often is not. As stated above, the use of positive comments, promises, and compliments can all be forms of sexual coercion if a person does not want to engage in sexual activity with another, but feels manipulated into it.

There are numerous ways a person can be coerced into having sex, even within a relationship or a marriage. Consider the following examples of sexual coercion:

• An abuser lies to their victim to make them think they have no option other than having sex with them. For instance, one person in a marriage may tell the other it is their legal obligation to have sex with them on their terms.
• A classic example of sexual coercion is the use of date rape drugs. An abuser may encourage their victim to consume more alcohol than they want in order to take advantage of them.
• A person who has more power or authority than another may use that power to force another to have sex with them.
• An abuser may act irrationally or behave in a manner that scares another into having sex with them.

What Is Sexual Coercion In a Relationship?

Unfortunately, the use of sexual coercion is common in intimate relationships. A partner may use subtle actions and comments to make another feel they owe their partner sexual activity. They may feel it is part of their responsibility, or that not consenting is unfair on the other partner. The use of extreme promises and compliments in a relationship with the end goal of getting one partner to have sex with the other is also a form of sexual coercion.

Sexual coercion is typically common in situations with skewed power dynamics. For instance, if one partner is the primary breadwinner who is responsible for the household income, such partner may use financial security as leverage to get the non-earning partner to engage sexually with them. Another example may involve a partnership where the couple has a lot of age difference between them. Please note that correlation doesn’t always imply causation – while power dynamics can be a contributing factor, sexual coercion can occur in any relationship, regardless of age, gender, or economic status.

Is Sexual Coercion Legal?

Sexual coercion is illegal. This is because any form of sexual activity that does not involve mutual consent is illegal. According to Ohio Rule 3357:15-14-15, it is the responsibility of the initiator of the sexual activity to ensure that they have the other person’s consent throughout the entire sexual activity.

Enthusiastic, verbal consent is the easiest and most reliable form of consent. Sexual consent may also be obtained through action; for instance, when one person initiates sexual activity and the other party willingly participates through their actions. However, consent can never be clearly given when a person is incapable of understanding the nature of the act, such as due to being intoxicated or under the influence of drugs.

Is Sexual Coercion a Form of Sexual Abuse?

By definition, sexual abuse is a broad term that refers to any form of unwanted, nonconsensual sexual activity. It may include unwanted or inappropriate touching, forced vaginal or anal sex, rape, forced pornography, cybersex, or other sexual acts.

Sexual coercion can be a form of sexual abuse if it is part of an established pattern. Sometimes, sexual coercion may only happen once and may stem from harmful beliefs about sexual relationships (for instance, if one spouse believes that they should always have sex when the other spouse wants to have sex). However, it becomes sexual abuse when there is a pattern of attempting to gain power and control over another person. When one person uses manipulation and control to get their way (sexually or otherwise), abuse is present.

What Is the Impact of Sexual Coercion?

Sexual coercion can have devastating long-term consequences for survivors. A survivor may experience physical health implications like STDs and unwanted pregnancy as a result of being coerced into having sex with someone without the use of birth control. Many may experience feelings of depression and anxiety. thereby impacting their quality of life. Once a survivor leaves an abusive relationship, they may also suffer the negative consequences of sexual coercion in future relationships. It may be harder for them to trust a new partner or to feel secure in their relationships with others.

People who have experienced sexual coercion may find themselves being victims of rape culture, where victims are blamed for the actions of their abusers and sexual coercion is often written off as something that could have been avoided or prevented. In these instances, it is incredibly important for the survivor to get help.

How To Recover From Sexual Trauma

If you have gone through sexual trauma, please remember that moving forward may take time but there are resources available to help you seek justice and reclaim your voice. Therapy, support groups, and building a network of trusted friends and loved ones are essential to healing from this traumatic experience. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help and support, and always remember that you are not alone.

Mike

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