Can You Have an Easy Divorce

Navigating the Path to a Fresh Start: Insights on Divorce and Legal Solutions

Navigating the Path to a Fresh Start: Insights on Divorce and Legal Solutions

The divorce process is never the same experience for any one person – it can involve heartbreak, grief, anger, disillusionment, as well as a feeling of release or newfound freedom. Whatever circumstances led to the dissolution of your marriage, divorce is a significant step in moving onto a fresh start. For many, it involves understanding their relationship, their former partner, and themselves in an entirely new light.

The Significance of Freedom on Your Path to Divorce

The freedom that comes after divorce is closely linked to your identity. Depending on how long you were with your ex, they and the relationship may have become part of your identity. In other words, you may identify yourself with your former spouse and might not be sure of who you are without them in your life as an intimate romantic partner. This is a normal part of marriage – of sharing your life with someone.

While freedom does lie ahead, it may feel difficult to embrace the possibilities it offers when divorce was not your first choice, or even a desired outcome at all. For these reasons, the freedom available post-divorce may seem daunting to you – or maybe it’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for. In either case, too much change all at once can feel like a double-edged sword. It can be helpful to ease into this freedom and independence with the help of professionals and your closest loved ones.

Emotional Challenges of Divorce

There may have been significant signals or shifts in your marriage earlier on, including a period of legal separation, but a divorce is the final step. Almost no one goes through the period of divorce perfectly – many of us make mistakes and say or do things during a divorce that we wish we hadn’t. Apologize when you need to, and do your best to remain cool-headed as much as possible, but know that the process of divorce, like grief or any other loss, involves its own challenges, missteps, and bad days.

It’s okay to mourn your marriage. A divorce represents the loss of the relationship you thought you had, and the future you envisioned. When grappling with the emotional challenges of divorce, self-care is self-respect. Leaning into your hobbies, hopes, and healthy habits can help you avoid unnecessary pain and suffering during the period of a divorce.

Emotional Support During Divorce

Surrounding yourself with a nurturing circle of friends and family can help make you feel more balanced during your own divorce journey. Make space to center yourself, and listen to those who affirm you and support you during this challenging time. If you have a difficult relationship with other friends, family, or colleagues, now may be a good time to mute social media and focus instead on those who make you feel most like yourself.

Friends and family can provide vital emotional support during a divorce, but it is also perfectly reasonable to decide to turn to professional help. Therapists and mediators are trained mental health professionals who can help you cope with the situation solo, or at times, alongside your former partner. You may also want to consider finding divorce-specific support groups that can share insight and help you feel more connected to your community.

When in doubt, consider seeing a divorce counselor. A professional therapist can not only provide substantial emotional support, but they can also help you understand what other kinds of help you might want to seek out during this time.

How to Handle Finances during Divorce

Getting a handle on your finances during a divorce can be confusing for many spouses who previously shared important paperwork and financial responsibilities with their partner, but it is a crucial step in finding your own freedom. First, you must understand and have control over your own finances. If you shared bank accounts during your marriage, make sure you have access to your funds and all financial paperwork related to those accounts. If you have investments, assets, or inheritances of your own that are separate from your spouse, speaking to experts like an executive divorce attorney can help safeguard your separate property through the legal proceedings ahead.

There are many financial considerations connected to divorce. Those who have started small businesses during the course of a marriage, or who have joint investments with their former spouse may need to take additional steps to ensure that what they have built is not split unfairly during divorce proceedings. Additionally, in many states, debt is considered shared equally between both partners in a marriage and during its dissolution. You will also have a different tax liability to consider after your divorce.

All of these create complications to understanding your complete financial picture during and after a divorce. To get started, make sure you have access to your:

  • Bank statements
  • Tax returns
  • Investment portfolios
  • Deeds and/or business licenses
  • Loans and mortgage paperwork
  • Any other relevant financial information

From there, consider building a budget and taking stock of your current assets, responsibilities, and debt. Sharing this information with your divorce attorney or divorce financial advisor can help them more effectively advocate on your behalf, as well as create a more cohesive plan for what to do next.

Navigating the Legal Aspects of Divorce

Divorce, unlike marriage, does not have to be a two-person decision. The legal process of divorce begins when one party serves the other with a divorce petition, and lasts until both spouses reach a settlement about the terms of their divorce, or until the matter is decided by a judge if they can’t agree.

When both spouses cannot agree on the terms of their divorce, or when significant debt, assets, or child custody is involved, a divorce is usually considered contested. In this case, there will be a discovery process, which might involve appraisals of family homes, cars, or other shared property, as well as relevant bank statements and investment accounts.

It’s a misconception that all divorces end up in court. Most divorces settle before they go to a trial. Good divorce lawyers are practiced litigators and negotiators who can help settle debates outside of the courtroom. An attorney can provide divorce legal solutions for:

  • Division of assets and debts
  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support
  • Spousal support
  • Domestic violence

For many people involved in a divorce, mediation is another useful tool. Mediators are not lawyers – they are mental health professionals who meet with both parties and attempt to create an agreement. While mediators can’t help solve financial responsibilities, they can help speed up the settlement process and make sure both parties are on the same page about the terms of their divorce. It is important to note that while divorcing parents can create child custody agreements, those terms typically require approval by a family law judge to ensure such an agreement is in the best interests of the child(ren).

What Should I Do Immediately after Divorce?

Divorce is a period of transformation. It is a major life change, and it is important to take time to honor this transition. Don’t expect everything to fall into place right away, but don’t be afraid to be optimistic after a divorce. There will be new challenges, but also new opportunities.

In the immediate aftermath of divorce, one of the most important things is to give yourself and your family time to recover and heal. Coping with co-parenting after a divorce, as well as rebuilding your financial wellbeing can both bring new challenges. It may take time to feel as financially stable as you did before, or to be ready to consider a new partner or dating again.

Additionally, children may need help understanding and adjusting to a new normal after divorce. Co-parenting counseling is a viable option to help bring a neutral third party to the table, as well as to help brainstorm ways to make the transition smoother for everyone.

How to Start over after Divorce with No Money

Shared finances are one of the main reasons why many people tend to deter divorce, or opt for a legal separation instead. While there are no easy answers, there are also many opportunities for those who need help after a divorce. Seeking professional help, such as from a financial planner, can be a good way to get a fresh perspective on the situation. You may have friends or relatives who have gone through something similar and who can offer you advice, a place to stay, or a temporary financial cushion. While you may need to consider downsizing certain expenses after a divorce, you also have the chance now to build back up your own financial wellness on your own terms.

Remember that divorce is common, and for many people, it brings changes in their financial wherewithal or daily habits. There is no shame or stigma in seeking out resources for divorcées, and many people have gone through what you’re currently experiencing.

Embracing what Lies Ahead

Divorce is difficult, but it happens for a reason. You have the opportunity to build a life that suits you better now than the one before. For every messy divorce story, there is also another chapter ahead that allows you to express yourself more fully, live life on your own terms, and find a lasting freedom for yourself and your family. The divorce process is an ending, but it’s also a fresh start.

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